You know when you’ve been stuck in a rut for so long it actually becomes comfortable? For no one reason in particular I have not been making things, no sewing of own clothes, no making things for my new shop, I’ve been procrastinating like a boss though!
For a workaholic I don’t actually get much done, I appear to be stuck on a merry-go-round of routine and same old, same old and whilst everything is the same, I don’t feel very defined in myself or dedicated for that matter. I seem to float on a weird air of whimsiness that everything will all fall in place at some point and I will find my place in this business. I am probably fooling myself on this front, in fact I know I am.
I flit between projects, never able to fully concentrate or focus, I have too many ideas and forever want to move onto the next thing before the last thing is finished. Last count 25 unfinished sewing projects for my wardrobe. Most of them no longer fit, that is another story, for another time.
What was a well-intentioned break, turned into a creative block, whether it was intentional or not I froze when it came getting back into creating. The block turned into a rut that I just ignored until it got comfortable but I’m not very good with comfort when it comes to work I like challenge. What caused the block? Turns out fear of mediocrity! No one wants to be just good at something or be okay with being average, we are not conditioned to be okay with being average and not be average is a hard order to fulfill.
As always I talk to my husband, he is a good listener, sometimes you don’t need advice you just need someone to listen. I have found over the years people are not very good listeners but they love to give advice, especially in areas where they have no knowledge. I could go either way when it comes to work, be über on trend or take a risk and be über niche. He says always be yourself, that is the only advice anyone needs to hear, unless you’re an arsehole then don’t be yourself but being yourself is kind of hard especially when everyone else is telling you how to be and you’re doing it wrong, the voices are loud because everyone is an expert.
So I’m filtering out the voices, internal and external, I’m slowly erasing the doubt embedded in my psyche, I’m going to step out of my comfortable rut and just create. It’s easier said than done and even though it’s been said many times before, it doesn’t hurt to say it again but don’t be afraid to step off the beaten track to find your inspiration, don’t be afraid to believe in yourself.
Photo: taken in grafitti alley in Toronto, ON.