It’s nearly the end of the financial year and I find myself winding up one little business to start focusing on a new one. I had a little moment on twitter because sometimes successes don’t feel like a success because it doesn’t fall withing the conventional parameters. Success like most things is subjective but in a world obsessed with numbers we can find ourselves being left behind but that simply not true.
I hear so often I’m too old for this or it’s too late start that and I know it’s bullshit but turning 40 left me in a bit of a tizz because I felt I had done so much but achieved so little. My path to a creative life has been a long and winding one and I’m still finding my feet as I go along. When I quit my job I literally had been pushed to the edge by my employers and some colleagues, it was a rage quit to save my health, so I had the vaguest of plans and I’m surprised I’ve got this far but I probably wouldn’t have without the support and constant cheer leading from my partner. Sometimes faith in yourself is not enough, especially when you’ve spent your whole life being told different by others.
For all the voices that have told me I’m not that intelligent, what are wasting your time doing that for, you’re not good enough for this, that or the other, for every demoralising see I told you, and actively encouraged me to settle for less because that was all that they thought I was worth, it takes just one voice of encouragement to keep you going and along the way I learnt to block out the naysayers and focus on the encouraging voices. It can be a hard habit to break, so go easy on yourself.
I feel a bit bittersweet about closing down my main Etsy shop, I’ve worked so hard on it and it’s come along away and completely not what I wanted it to be but it’s got where me where I need to be today, to finally get on with the things I do want to do. That said it made to a 1000 sales this week and so I can be proud that all my hard work has yielded a result. Like I said my path to a creative career has been a long and winding one, our plans don’t always turn out the way we want them to. Some times you cannot take the direct and obvious route to get where you want to go, life has a habit of throwing the odd curve ball or two to keep you on your your toes but you will get there eventually.
I’m now ready to focus and give my full attention to the task in hand. I’ve learnt that the key is not to give up, and more importantly it’s never to late to start.