Diary of a Klutz – The Litter Bug

So you thought Diary of a Klutz was probably a one off entry, well you were wrong.

This morning was not a good morning, apart from being used a comfy cushion by some random guy the tube whilst he read his book I also managed to get very up close and personal with Brixton High Street after face planting the pavement. To be fair it wasn’t entirely this klutz’s fault. If you’ve ever tried to negotiate your way through Brixton at 8 in the morning, you are aware that it requires specialist SAS style training, this morning this training failed me and I was taken out by a booby trap! I was doing well until feet got tangled up in one of those plastic strip things used to bundle up magazines and newspapers. I somehow managed to step both feet inside one and ergo next step was restricted and I went down like a felled tree in a forest!

Β You know that feeling of helplessness knowing your inevitable fate and there is not a damn thing you can do about it except embrace yourself for the impact? Suddenly it all goes slow motion and then you crash head first into the concrete? No? Good because it bloody hurts. You know when your trying to walk through Brixton no one gets out of your way but when you fall spectacularly everyone moves out of your way! I sat there momentarily stunned, like a four year child with a wobbling lip and then got pissed off as people just walked by me but then two really nice people stopped and helped and then it didn’t seem so bad. The guy disposed of the offending plastic and walked a little bit to make sure I was OK, the rest of the people true to form either ignored or stood there gawking but it only takes the kindness of one or in this case two strangers for you not to spend the rest of the day hating the world.

As I made my way to work two thoughts crossed my mind.

1) the that helped me was a really dapper dresser, why can’t more people dress that good? and

2) if I had been elderly or vulnerable in some physical way and that accident, undoubtedly I would have been waiting for an ambulance instead of walking to work.

It’s all very nice getting free newspapers and stuff but the amount of litter they cause is dangerous. Though why after all these years we are still having to tell grown up people how to dispose of rubbish properly is beyond me! Anyway it’s later in the day my bruises are coming out and my back is a little sore which is not surprising from the jolt it took however what is surprising is how my blackberry survived the crash!